hey, im an engineering student and i am completely incapable of not getting in my own way with any and everything in my life. so I figured studying for 4 different degrees simultaneously would be a great addition to everything going on and am currently juggling an EEE and CmpE BSE, MIS BSc and an architectural restoration AA.

i'm juggling pretty much every other thing in my life including basic needs as well since I'm disorganized both physically and mentally. not necessarily messy, (except for the mental part, my head is definitely messy) but disorganized. maybe more, disorientated?

i'd rather make sure i can't finish a goddamn job and jump to a different one that seems like it might interest me than to actually finish a project half decently.

therefore, you should probably approach with caution.

my adaptability, problem-solving and/or research skills? quick learning? god knows, shouldn't fool you.

i put ideology and general humanity way in front of whats logically good for me which may be something like a job at a fuckass company thatd have payed me good, e.g. but idk i can contradict myself a lot and do stuff im normally outraged about
im against llms and generative ai. and i try to geek out on privacy. idk.

im slightly autistic and that might show and i am frustrated that im starting all these sentences with i or my or whatsoever

i don't really know why an interest in programming or computers sparked in me. probably wanted to write minecraft mods when i was a kid or indulge in some other world shit, and my dream job (which according to a homework drawing ive done on my 1st grade, used to be a transit cleaner.) shifted to just a job where i could chill on a train going from wherever i am to wherever i want and bring my job with me. which pointed me to a job on the computer, and well; programming. but then i shifted away because i felt mentally ill, then came back and despised my incompetence

then became fairly competent but couldnt convince myself i was.

and now i'm... well. somewhere?

i'd say i'm mostly just curious of how things work so i can't say i'm interested in this field or that field.

im probably pretty fucked up.

i think this readme is also pretty much useless, i could just not add anything to my profile and that'd be better. i hate self-promoting too, and since ive got nothing to promote myself with on this platform. writing this felt great.

i'll add some stuff around here when i feel i've done stuff worth adding, even if i know i'll feel it isnt later on.

im still just 20 god i think its okay i slack around a bit write stupid stuff do cringe things have my fun and complain about simple ass things

i kind of obsess over structure and organization and would rather spend days planning the structuring of something, write guidelines and make sure everything looks orderly while i should do work. seems more like procrastination to me.